How to Network for a Job (Without Feeling Like You're Begging)
Networking done wrong feels transactional and uncomfortable. Done right, it's just staying connected to your industry. Here's the approach that works — and doesn't make anyone cringe.
Why it feels wrong (and how to fix it)
Most people hate networking because they're doing it transactionally — showing up only when they need something, asking for favors from near-strangers, treating every connection like a job lead. That's why it feels gross. And to be fair, it is gross when done that way.
The shift is simple: stop asking for jobs and start asking for conversations. "Can I pick your brain for 20 minutes about how you got into product management?" is a completely different request than "Do you know of any openings at your company?" One is easy to say yes to. The other requires someone to go out of their way.
Start with warm contacts
Before you cold-email anyone, go through your existing contacts. Former colleagues, classmates, professors, people you've worked with on projects. These people already know you — they're warm leads, and an email from you isn't a cold ask, it's a reconnection.
A simple message works: "Hey, I'm exploring new opportunities in [area] and I'd love to catch up. Would you have 20 minutes for a call sometime this month?" That's it. No long backstory. Most people will say yes, and most of those conversations will lead somewhere useful.
Informational interviews — what they are and how to ask
An informational interview is a 20-minute conversation with someone in a role or company you want to learn more about. You're not asking for a job — you're asking for their experience and perspective. It's the most underused tool in job searching, honestly.
The ask is easy: "I'm exploring a move into [field] and I'd love to hear how you got there. Would you be open to a quick call?" Most people enjoy talking about their careers — you're giving them a chance to do that, and the conversation almost always turns up something useful.
What to actually say on LinkedIn
A connection request with no message gets accepted about half the time. A short note explaining why you want to connect gets accepted more often — and more importantly, it starts a real conversation rather than a silent connection that goes nowhere.
Something like: "I've been following your work on [specific thing] and I'm making a similar move into [area]. I'd love to be connected and maybe grab a quick call sometime." Specific, personal, easy. Don't ask for anything big in the first message.
Following up without being annoying
If someone agreed to a call, sent you a job description, or made an introduction, follow up with a thank you within 24 hours. Every time. It takes two minutes and the difference it makes in how people remember you is significant.
If someone didn't respond to your first message, one follow-up after a week is fine. Two follow-ups after that starts to feel pushy. Some people are just busy or uninterested — that's not a reflection on you, it's a numbers game.
The long game: staying visible when you're not actively searching
The best networking happens before you need it. Someone who showed up at industry events, engaged with people's work online, and stayed in touch over months is in a completely different position when they start a job search than someone who reaches out cold with an urgent ask.
You don't need to post every day or go to every event. But staying loosely connected — commenting on work you genuinely find interesting, sharing something useful once a month — keeps you visible. And visible is what matters when someone is deciding who to hire or refer.
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